I purchased kefir grains from Cultures for Health about a month ago. I was really, really excited to get going on making my own, but then I made myself wait since I had a 6-night, 7-day trip to Savannah with Boyfriend coming up. I knew it would be safer for the little colony of yeast and bacteria to wait for my return without being activated first.

Then, when I got home from my trip, I experienced a sort of manic-depressive craze. At first I was wonderfully rejuvenated and inspired to Do All the Things! (love you, Allie Brosh, how could anyone explain it better than you?) but of course it didn’t really last very long. My inspiration and realization that it’s actually quite easy to keep house, eat healthily, exercise daily, and on and on was soon replaced with the reality of — wait for it — reality. My 9 year old son had a nasty cough, a fever that got up to 103.something, and a rattling sound when he breathed. (Health care provider diagnosed an upper respiratory infection, and there wasn’t much to do besides push fluids, rest, and wait. And wait. And wait.)

Over a week later, my son has returned to school, healthy except for a bit of a niggling cough. I finally had just enough energy to pour the contents of a sealed pouch of kefir grains into a cup of milk, cover, and allow fermentation to begin.  Seriously, it’s that easy. I’m new at it, obviously, but it does seem as though the trickiest thing is keeping the culture/milk warm enough yet cool enough. I felt like I could manage that since I have that issue when I bake yeast bread here as well — my kitchen gets chilly, but the yeast needs a stable, warm environment to flourish in. I solved that problem by using a gigantic ceramic bread bowl that I pre-warmed with hot water, so it seemed logical to try that with the kefir-milk. So I started the grains (so called for their physical appearance, not because they’re actually grains) in milk that I placed in a pre-warmed coffee mug. I thought the thermal nature of the mug would keep the chilliness at bay.

Then I figured out that as long as I put the kefir-milk near the coffee pot, it’s warm enough for the culture to be quite happy. I keep it covered (as recommended) with some home made cloth napkins and a rubber band. I imagine this not only keeps out dust and other foreign particles (and hungry insects in the warm season), but allows for off-gassing from the fermentation process.

My very precise kefir-culturing method.

In the about-a-week that I’ve been trying to get this culture going, I’ve forgotten about the stuff and left it out longer than I intended twice. The guides are fairly loose – they say leave the culture out for 12-48 hours. Not exactly specific, but with all the variables involved (including living organisms), there couldn’t be only one set of directions. So I felt pretty unsure and had no idea what the *ahem* I was doing. The stuff I was getting at the end of a day or two was looking more like milk left out overnight in July (read: scary yogurt) than like the smooth drink I love. It also smelled sort of…yeasty. Not overpowering, and not wholly unpleasant, but not like I wanted to drink it as a treat, either. Plus as I said, I’m uncertain and don’t feel I know what I’m doing…and don’t want to poison myself…so this morning when I woke up and realized I forgot and left the kefir-milk-culture jar out too long again, I decided I was done trying and I am clearly not cut out for caring for a little colony of probiotics.

But when I looked at the jar this morning, it was different. It was firm and looked sort of like cream-top yogurt looks, and the liquid that separated out wasn’t a mildly sick-looking pale yellow. It was an almost clear liquid. (I believe it is referred to as whey at this point and is considered quite beneficial for lots of healthy food-making such as lacto-fermentation and soaking grains.) The smell was different as well, not having such a strong, almost pungent smell of yeast. It smells much milder now.

I made kefir! Holy buckets! It worked!

OK, so maybe I’m not a domestic goddess yet. I’m not even much of a suburban-homesteader (my garden really wants me to harvest the veggies out there, now that there’s a hard frost every morning…). But I can say that I’m a shepherdess of sorts, keeping my little flock of kefir-sheep alive. A kefherdess? I’ll try to puzzle that out as I see whether I keep a colony alive for longer than a little over a week. 😉

This first batch I’m going to try with some local honey and maybe a touch of cinnamon (it’s fall and warming spices are so very right at the moment!). Maybe someday I’ll be able to enjoy it without sweetener added, but I think a transition from store-bought, highly-sweetened kefir will go more smoothly if I indulge my taste preferences.

Suggestions? Advice? Please feel free to comment! I have a lot to learn!

Update: I decided to wait before posting this, so maybe it doesn’t count as an update exactly. I wanted to try the kefir out and make sure I didn’t wind up dead and inadvertently publishing bad advice before I died.

I have had the kefir multiple times now and have yet to experience food poisoning from it — yay! I’m not sure why I got so worked up and nervous about the whole thing. I guess there is a corner of my being that believes the line we’re given from Big Business and the government about ultra-pasteurization and so forth, and that I’m taking my life and the life of my family in my hands when I make food at home.

Well, guess what? Yeah I am! I WANT to take our lives in my hands. There are too many sketchy practices out there, too many problems with the food system as it stands and the health issues in this country, and I am the only one who is going to watch out for my family in this.

Mm, sorry about the soap-boxing there.

Back to kefir. There wasn’t really getting around the fact that home made kefir tastes different from what I’m getting at the store. So while the honey-cinnamon treat will be nice once I acquire a taste for my kefir, I found that a roughly 50/50 kefir/apple cider mixture was perfect. I’ve also had my kefir in my hot cereal instead of milk and in some potato & lentil stew I made.

Also, the first day I tried the new kefir, I had a beer with dinner (a few hours after my afternoon snack of kefir). The next day I was amazed to realize I had experienced any gassiness or bloating from the beer, and I definitely attribute that straight to the kefir flora-boosting power. Scientific evidence? Naw. Good enough for me to be a believer? You betcha!  (<– That’s Minnesotan for “yup.”)

*Safety note: If you’re going to make kefir at home, be sure to use safe, sanitary methods. Improper kitchen sanitation can make you and your loved ones sick or dead, and that would suck. So make sure everything is clean and follow the directions from your kefir grain provider. If you didn’t get any, go to Cultures for Health and watch their video tutes and/or download their free kefir-making ebook.